top of page

So I went to a sex party last weekend

It's true! While I used to be a regular at a lot of sex and BDSM play parties around NYC, I took a few years off the public circuit to focus on myself and my individual, private relationships. While my vanilla Renaissance has brought me a renewed appreciation of orgasms without some element of torture or extreme bondage, at the end of the day I am a proud pervert who craves variety and erotic fulfillment in all kinds of different forms.


I packed a generous bag of toys for personal use and to share. Aside from the usual safer sex supplies and selection of water-based and silicone lubes, I brought an Eleven and a Purewand (both by one of my favorite toy companies, Njoy), a small packet of needles for play piercing, a suture kit, 30 feet of rope, two floggers (one gifted, one homemade), and a neon wand with a power tripper and other assortment of accessories for sensory play. Conspicuously absent was my strap-on, but hey. I must have sensed earlier in the evening that it would be my night to get fucked.


Hot girl in Raoul Duke sunglasses
Me 45 minutes before I'm supposed to be at your sex party. Not pictured: blunt and boulevardier.

The crowd was a particularly delicious mix of queer girls, boys, and non-binary folks. Aside from liquid and/or chemical courage, I believe in the power of sleepover games to break the ice and get a party started. While my go-to is spin the bottle, in this instance truth or dare was the winner. The truth: "Do you want to fuck me?" became the dare: "I dare you to fuck me." Done and done.


It can be a bit complicated getting hot and heavy in a room full of people, all of whom have mixed relationships to each other. Will it be weird to suck my friend's cock? Will it be weird for me to suck *anyone's* cock in front of my friend? Those negotiations are up to you and your friend, but I try to err on the side of talking about things before instead of after. It's punk to make your friends feel cared for, even if it means a


potentially awkward conversation. One thing I like to remind people who are experimenting with group and/or public play is that you never have to do anything just to prove a point to someone, even if that someone is yourself.


Suffice it to say, I had a perfectly slutty evening tying up the cute host and showing her my shiny silver toys. When the neon wand came out, I gave demos about how to safely electrocute your partner and showed how electricity can travel through bodies in contact to make for some particularly spicy group play. I was disappointed that electricity did not travel well through play piercings, but the piercings themselves looked delightful. I knew I had done right when at one point in the evening I looked up from the ass I was eating and watched a small group of partygoers lightly electrocuting each other's genitals with their tongues, giggling and kissing and shooting sparks between them.


It's always nice when everybody gets to cum, especially when they have never cum like that before.

bottom of page